Darling Online Marketing

Why You Should Never Say “Thanks” When Networking

Posted on 09. Dec, 2011 by Darling.

by Brooke Grubb, Guest Blogger and Leader of the Referral Marketing & Networking Column

Some of you have heard me preach about the importance of handwritten thank-you notes.  Well, I was wrong.  I recently learned it’s better to show zero gratitude.  Ideally, one should have an undying sense of entitlement.

I learned this lesson about a month ago.  Until then, I innocently sent notes to people I’d meet for the first time at networking events.  But then I met Jay Wheeler of Wheeler Financial.  He seems nice enough, but don’t be fooled by his firm handshake, good conversation, and ability to walk and blink at the same time. 

At a recent event, we got on the topic of thank-you notes.  He’s a die-hard fan.  Every Monday, he writes notes to those who have been on his mind the prior week.  I asked him, “Jay, aren’t you lazy to wait till Monday?”  He replied, “I like to start my week by thinking of everyone I’m grateful for.  For instance, I just wrote a note to my mom, thanking her for watching my children over the weekend.”

I was floored for two reasons:

(1)  Jay focuses too much on his blessings.  This overshadows his attention on what really matters… what he doesn’t have.  Shouldn’t business owners and salespeople devote their entire soul to desperately chasing that elusive account, or scheming ways to eventually afford that obnoxiously large yacht?  We would all reap greater success by starting our week with tears, temper tantrums, and preferably a hunger strike. 

(2)  Clearly, Jay is a terrible son.  Every mother loves hearing the voice of her children.  Knowing this, he emotionally tortures his dear mother by sending her cardstock rather than picking up the phone.  Shame on him.

Also, I advise against writing thank-you notes because so few people do it.  The majority must be right.  Why would you want to stick out like a sore thumb?

I would say “thank you” for reading this, but I already expect you to read it in its entirety, print it out, and frame it in your living room.  I also expect you to send me a box of chocolates.  This hunger strike is killing me.

Happy networking!  (P.S. – Surprisingly, this message was approved by Jay Wheeler.)

Please leave your comments and feedback below on this topic.  

Continue Reading

Don’t Read This With Your Mouth Full

Posted on 04. Nov, 2011 by Darling.

by Brooke Grubb, Guest Blogger and Leader of the Referral Marketing & Networking Column

Do you feel awkward eating at business networking events?  Lately I’ve wondered how my noshing appears to others.  More specifically, what is the etiquette, and am I adhering to it?  May I continue to eat off of other people’s plates?  Am I right to wipe my hands on someone else’s sleeve?  May I stash food in Tupperware, like I did at the mixer last night?

Disappointingly, my Google search for etiquette was fruitless, because most advice out there is misleading!  Below are the most egregious tips, which I urge you to disregard: 

(1)   “Don’t load up your plate.  Eat something beforehand so you can focus on networking.” 

This advice is wrong for two reasons:

a.      The more you eat, the less you can talk and the more you must listen.  A great conversationalist is a great listener.  Ergo, the more you stuff your mouth, the better you communicate.  (P.S., I’m a lawyer’s daughter.)

b.      Despite what I just said, the instant gratification of a tall stack of taquitos is way more important than building relationships that can last a lifetime.  (P.S., I have impulse issues.)

(2)   “If you do eat, avoid any food with garlic or onions.  Otherwise, you may be remembered for the wrong reasons.” 

Uh, hello?!  Bad publicity is better than no publicity.  I also recommend smelly foods if you have personal space issues.  Ever try Limburger cheese?

(3)   “Hold your drink in your left hand, so your right hand won’t feel cold and clammy during your handshake.” 

I disagree.  Keep your right hand moist, and assure people you’re only mildly contagious.  Or, tell them the restroom ran out of paper towels.  Follow my advice, and you’ll entertain yourself throughout the mixer.

(4)   “Get out of boring conversations by grabbing something to eat or drink.”  

Actually, this is fabulous advice, and I intend to use it. 

In the end, I learned almost nothing in my etiquette research.  But I did discover that food unites strangers and can enhance networking.  This is especially true if you pretend you’re choking on a carrot stick and collapse to the ground.  You’ll likely gather a crowd, and countless people will approach you afterwards to ask if you’re okay.  What a great time to hand out your card!

Finally, after much thought, I’ve decided that bringing Tupperware is really tacky.  Gallon-size freezer bags show a lot more class. 

Happy networking!

Please leave your comments and feedback below on this topic.  

Continue Reading

Why Networking and Frisbee Don’t Mix

Posted on 15. Sep, 2011 by Darling.

by Brooke Grubb, Guest Blogger and Leader of the Referral Marketing & Networking Column

Networking comes with inherent risks.  You could get lost en route to a mixer and accidentally drive off a cliff.  You could arrive safely at the event, only to be struck by an earthquake.  But nothing compares to the greatest horror of all:  You could fall victim to Business Card Frisbee. 

BCF, as it’s also known, is a seemingly innocent game played by novice networkers.  Don’t be fooled. 

Imagine you’re among a group of colleagues at a mixer, chatting and building relationships like normal human beings.  Just then, an odd woman swoops in.  “Hi!  I’m Wanda!” she announces.  “My boutique is having a 20%-off sale this Friday!  Don’t miss it!”  She tosses her business cards to everyone like frisbees.

Then she sighs.  “I’m sorry!  Here I am, handing you a card… when you should each get 10!  Now that you’ve known me for a full minute, surely you’ll tell all your friends about my sale!”  She throws each person a stack of cards.  She then slithers away. 

Results:

1. One colleague gets a paper cut from the business cards, which turns into a staph infection.  He dies.
2.  One colleague is so boggled by Wanda’s blatant self-absorption that his neural synapses short circuit.  He is sent to a mental institution.
3. One colleague returns to the office and distributes Wanda’s cards to coworkers.  Her boss catches her promoting a stranger’s business on company time and fires her.  She also goes to the mental institution.
4. One colleague starts driving to Wanda’s boutique and gets lost.  He doesn’t fall off a cliff, but worse, he ends up in New Jersey.

Wanda is also a victim of her own game.  She becomes the poster child for narcissism.  A few attendees even hold a post-mixer bonfire, fueled by Wanda’s unwanted cards. 

While you would never play the most lethal form of BCF, beware of its milder cousin in more typical conversations.  Do you offer your business card because people ask for it?  Or because you assume they want it?  If they don’t ask, they probably don’t want it.  Sorry.  If it makes you feel better, lots of folks don’t ask for my card despite my spectacular beauty, charm, and modesty.  I’ve come to terms with this harsh reality, thanks to a few rounds of shock treatments at aforementioned mental institution.

If you still want to give your business card, ask for permission first.  It’s also okay to include a business card in follow-up thank-you notes.  But they are the sole exceptions.

Be a bit stingy with your business cards.  You’ll actually save trees and relationships.  And barring any surprise cliffs, earthquakes, or Wandas, you’ll make it through your next mixer just fine.

Please leave your comments and feedback below on this topic.  

Continue Reading

Friends Don’t Let Friends Write Junk

Posted on 25. Aug, 2011 by Darling.

by Brooke Grubb, Guest Blogger and Leader of the Referral Marketing & Networking Column

Do you belong to a referral group?  If so, you know the rule:   Give fellow members only warm referrals.  A referral is someone you know who could do business with someone from your group.  “Warm” doesn’t mean “having a pulse,” although that’s a plus.  Rather, it means the referral is already looking forward to the member’s call.  Otherwise, the so-called referral is just a cold lead. 

Cold leads are rarely worth the referral slips they’re written on.  They’re junk.  They’re dead-end time-wasters that deplete us of joy.  Even worse, they put us at major risk for financial ruin, nervous breakdown, and/or imminent death.

Surely, you never write up cold leads.  But I bet you know people who do.  In fact, cold leads are cropping up at alarming rates.  According a survey I conducted among friends after spiking their drinks, a cold lead is handed out every 1.8 seconds.  And that’s just in Hoboken, New Jersey. 

Why?  Members who don’t write up enough referral slips can be booted from the group.  So a few selfish folks will scribble anything – the name of their next-door neighbor’s parrot – and claim it’s a warm referral.  Then the poor member who receives the slip feels obligated to call the parrot.  Not doing so would be unprofessional.  In this case, at least the parrot is agreeable, repeating everything the guy says.

Here’s a true story so appalling that names and industries have been changed to protect the guilty.  At a recent referral group meeting, Bob said:  “Jack, you sell water coolers, so here’s a referral for M&T Bank.  Bankers must get thirsty.  I don’t know who the contact is.  Maybe call corporate in Buffalo.  After you take time to figure it out, let me know how it goes!”

If I had my way, Bob would be punished with duct tape and bubble wrap.  I offered this excellent suggestion to the group’s president.  Now I must stay 500 feet away.

Networkers of the world, unite!  Let us eradicate these atrocities.  Next time a friend refers a parrot or anonymous banker, stand before your group and exclaim:  “Bob, thou shalt NOT lead Jack toward a path of gloom, doom, and imminent death!”  Or, take him aside and remind him what a warm referral is.  Tell him that we join forces to enhance our success, and every member should demonstrate the utmost integrity.

If he protests, get out the duct tape and bubble wrap, and ship him to Hoboken.  

Please leave your comments and feedback below on this topic.  

Brooke Grubb is Director of Business Development for Unique Impressions, Inc., which specializes in customized apparel and creative promotional products.  She credits 95% of her sales to the relationships she has built through networking.  Ms. Grubb also serves as an Ambassador for her local Chamber of Commerce, and she is an active member of Toastmasters, a public speaking and leadership organization.  She may be reached at 302-738-7933 or find her on LinkedIn.

Continue Reading

Networking Tips for Those Who Already Know a Lot about Networking

Posted on 26. Jul, 2011 by Darling.

By Brooke Grubb, Guest Blogger and Leader of the new Referral Marketing & Networking Column

We all know that networking isn’t about selling; it’s about building relationships and supporting others.  Why is it, then, that the primary networking technique we learn is the 30-second commercial… which centers on ourselves?  Here are ways to focus on our colleagues. 

(1) Probe.  Did you ever meet someone at a mixer, only to blank out on questions to ask them?  Try the following:

1. “How did you get started in the widget business?”  Be forewarned:  When I started asking this question, people would say, “Brooke, I don’t sell widgets!”  Now I tweak the question for non-widget industries.  That said, most people love to share their story. 
2. “What do you enjoy most about your career?”  This prolongs the conversation and helps your new friend think happy thoughts.  Before I used this incredible technique, people would leave my conversations in tears.  Now they just have a minor facial tic.  So it really does work.
3. “How will I know when someone is a good customer for you?”  I love this question.  It’s a warm-and-fuzzy way of asking about ideal prospects.  People actually think I’m nice!

(2) Make deep connections.  Have you collected stacks of business cards from people you barely remember?  Let’s be honest:  There’s almost no chance you’ll refer business to them, or vice versa.  I usually walk into a mixer with the intent to spark three new friendships.  And I’m still looking for that elusive widget rep.

(3) Follow up!  Here are three ways to continue building relationships:

1. Set up a networking one-on-one.  Normally, I call the person the next day to schedule a meeting at Panera, Starbucks, etc.  Muffins and iced mochaccinos are calorie-free when consumed for business purposes.
2. Write a handwritten note in blue ink.  Blue ink looks genuine.  I used to write with red crayon on construction paper, but people were blocking my calls. 
3. Connect on LinkedIn.  Someday, I’ll do something productive with my 300+ connections.  Establishing the connection is a nice gesture and a good start, at least.
4. Stay in touch, with a purpose.  Everyone I meet receives my monthly article on networking.  What’s YOUR added value with your referral network?  What information can you share outside of your primary business?

You know the old saying:  “People don’t care what you know; they want to know that you care.”  Focus on others, show that you care, and your network really will become your net worth.  Let’s just pray you never need a widget.

Brooke Grubb is Director of Business Development for Unique Impressions, Inc., which specializes in customized apparel and creative promotional products.  She credits 95% of her sales to the relationships she has built through networking.  Ms. Grubb also serves as an Ambassador for her local Chamber of Commerce, and she is an active member of Toastmasters, a public speaking and leadership organization.  She may be reached at (302) 738-7933 or find her on LinkedIn.

Continue Reading